Beer, Turtles, and Pidgin English

We’ve vacillated between action and inaction on this trip. We wake up pretty early and take a beach walk and then snorkel and swim. We came out of the water the other day and a couple of people on the beach were all excited about the turtle trailing us while we snorkeled. We had no idea. The next two times we went out we saw it. Terri (Clay’s daughter) is one of those research people who finds the best snorkeling spot in a ten-mile radius, so we headed out with her one morning to south of Wailea. The parking lot seemed to be for fishermen and was basically wedged into the trees and sand. We walked a little south and saw a group of snorkelers, so we headed that way. What a jackpot! We saw at least six turtles, and the water was much clearer than our beach. I’ve never seen turtles that mellow before. They just paddled around the snorkelers, probably looking for a handout. One old-timer was playing chicken with Joe. It swam right up to Joe’s face… at the last second it went around. We even saw an eel swimming around! That’s not something you usually see accept on night dives.

We’ve been on a quest to find the best beer brewery. We went to Maui brewery for dinner. I was amazed at how enormous that place was. It had to be on at least a couple of acres. Most of the time we hang out here at Sugar Beach and grab an occasional drink or bite to eat at Dina’s Sand Witch. I’d read that Eskimo Candy had the best fish and chips. Though it was good, I wouldn’t say it’s the best. Then again, I was raised in California. We got one Mahi and one Ono basket. The Mahi was flakier and the Ono was firm. Us girls went into Lahaina the other day and wore ourselves out shopping. We went to Waikiki Brewery for lunch. Terri, the connoisseur, preferred Waikiki over Maui. I got a pumpkin beer because I was hot. It was okay… it might have been better if it was ice cold.

I’ve been obsessed with puzzles on this trip. I’m already on my third one. Clay will come over and help me sometimes. Right now I’m doing one with a bunch of surfers from around the world lined up in front of their boards.

Above us, in this resort, is a young couple with a big dog. It’s generally a quiet dog, but the other night it sounded like it was chasing a mouse around their condo! I could hear it skidding around corners and barking like a maniac. I couldn’t hear any humans, so I have no idea what it was after. That was an earplug night. For daytime entertainment we have the guy in a condo below us who starts his day by doing a vocal workout. You know, the la-la-la in different pitches? He absolutely does not have a singing voice, but he faithfully works his voice from his balcony every morning. :/

On a cultural note; the Hawaiians are pretty laid back, but I found something that almost universally pisses them off (it’s a super-power of mine). They do NOT like it when you speak Spanish to them. This is super hard for us Californians. We often say hola or gracias. They will flat out say, “We don’t speak Spanish here!” Okie-dokie. Even if I catch myself and apologize before they can say something, they’ll still tell me to not speak Spanish. Last night our bartender, a very nice Hawaiian woman, explained that Ola is a name here. It means pride or proud or something. Her excuse is that she thinks people are mistaking her for her cousin. I’m not buying it.

Today is super windy. We usually eat out on our balcony, but today I had to save our placemats twice from going over the railing. I’m sure I looked comical to the sensible people in the other condos as I raced around in circles trying to pin down placemats and napkins. The problem is I leave the front door open and it created a wind tunnel today. I closed the door and picked up all the puzzle pieces from the floor. Not a shining moment for me.

The aquarium here has a giant gift shop inside, but it’s a process to get in there. First you have to pay to park… call me petty, but it irritates me to pay to spend money. It’s two bucks an hour and you have to pay it buy texting a number and inputting a number, or you can hold your camara to the QR code. Then once you finally get inside, you have to go to the ticket counter and sign in and they give you a wristband to make sure you don’t sneak into the aquarium. Surprisingly, the shop wasn’t overpriced. That’s something, right? There’s also a small outdoor mall next to the aquarium in case you want to spend more money.

I found one of the coolest things at the gift shop… a Hawaiian Pidgin-English Bible. It is called Da Good An Spesho Book. I couldn’t resist picking it up and reading it. I went to the most familiar verse, John 3:16-17. I love it! “God get plenny love an aloha fo da peopo inside da world. Dass why he sen me, his one and ony Boy. Cuz a dat, erybody dat trus me no goin get cut off from God foeva! Dey goin get da real kine life dat goin stay to da max foeva! You know, wen God sen me, his Boy, inside da world, he neva do dat fo punish da peopo. He sen me fo get da peopo outa da bad kine stuff dey stey do.” Interesting huh?

Aloha from Maui!

We’re on another adventure… Maui! Our friend, Clay, wanted to use his air-miles, so we graciously offered to help him… and we’re in first class. That’s fancy. Besides being one of the nicest guys to travel with (a real pro) he’s also got some perks. First perk is he insists on taking one of those compact leather-seat limos to and from the airport. The service is almost as nice as when our friend Dave shuttles us to and from the airport in his Suburban. Perk #2 is he needs a wheelchair for the airport. Let me tell you, that’s the way to travel! It might be worth breaking a leg for. The perk I’m enjoying right now is the Admiral’s Lounge. Do you have any idea how expensive this is? Joe was saying it’s like $800 a year. Clay got a lifetime membership for $275 about thirty years ago. It’s such a nice break from the hustle and bustle of the airport terminals. Plus they have the free taco bar (yes Denise—a taco bar!). I even got a glass of wine gratis. Admittedly, the clientele in here is strange in its own rich way. The lady with three-inch spiked silver hair and a mangy looking dog, which lays directly across the path to and from the food, is certainly unique. Then there’s the guy wearing a full-length gown made out of Central American fabric… it’s very flashy and somehow doesn’t go with his red hair and thick beard. He looks more like someone from Duck Dynasty. He’s wearing strap-on Birkenstocks and has a really expensive laptop. He would be a great character in one of my crime novels.

We just found out our flight has been delayed by an hour. Oh well. Years ago, on a short-term mission trip to Mexicali, we learned to call it Flexicali. In order to survive the chaos inherent in traveling with teens, you have to be flexible. We’ve adopted that attitude for all our trips. Makes it easier. This morning, at SMF, a lady spent ten minutes learning about the world of flavored coffee drinks. It was apparently her first time and she had a million questions. The lady directly behind her was starting to get pissed off. She turned and gave me the “can you believe this @*#” look. I asked her if she was running late. Nope. She toned it down slightly. I said, “It’s cute, and I’m on vacation.” Her face was comical as she battled between her desire to be snarky and realizing she could tone it down. She chose to tone it down and said she’s going to adopt that saying. I have my doubts, but it would be nice if people would take a chill-pill before they travel.

I’ve discovered a new thing. There’s a ride-share company called Turo. All you do is go to their site and see if there’s any cars in the area you want (Maui has hundreds of cars). They list all the cars for rent in that vicinity. Each car has photos, a description, and customer reviews. They have every kind of car imaginable from a classic Mustang to a Maserati. We rented a bright red 2022 4-Runner for $59/day. We only need it for a couple of days, so I splurged. I booked it and immediately got a message from the owner saying he’d pick us up at the airport and drive over to the Costco parking lot to hand it over. I just sent him a message telling him we’ll be at the airport at 9:30 instead of 8:30 and he wrote back saying no problem. Isn’t that cool?

That was yesterday, and it all went as planned. Christopher picked us up at the airport and drove us to Costco, actually he made Joe drive. Then, because we displayed tourist anxiety, he had us follow them to the highway through the maze of streets (that are actually quite straightforward). When it came time to part ways, he called my cell phone and told us when to turn. Talk about put us in the Hawaii frame of mind! Poor Clay was baffled by our antics. For decades he’s done the car rental the exact same way. He was too tired and hard-of-hearing to know exactly what was happening, and it was too complicated to explain, so he just went along for the ride.

First thing in this morning we opened our sliding glass doors and sat gazing at the ocean and sipping coffee. The Sugar Beach Resort is an older condo complex. It’s super affordable with great amenities, but it’s tired. It’s sort of like a Travelodge on the inside, but the grounds are meticulously kept. It’s at the north end of Kihei and has a gorgeous small beach.

Today was shopping day, hence the vehicle. We went to Costco and Safeway and bought enough meat for an army and of course beer for Joey. We gifted Clay with a bottle of Oban scotch for his 93^rd birthday. He was appreciative but not interested. He caught a cold back in California, so he’s doing shots of Nyquil instead. He had a long list of munchies for his daughters who arrive Friday. After we made three trips up and down stairs, Clay told us they have grocery carts at each elevator for that purpose. That would’ve been handy information to have.

I’ve got my puzzle from home all set up on my table along with this laptop, so I’m ready now! I keep getting distracted by the crashing waves. The wave action is pretty gentle in the morning and it’s fairly shallow in front of this place. Yesterday, we decided to swim laps with our snorkel gear on… good thing because there’s a reef right there and it’s close to the surface. The danger is having a wave set you right on the reef. I was surprised at how healthy the reef was considering how many humans have hit it over the years.

We scooted over to Lahaina to walk around and have lunch. I’d read about The Dirty Monkey being a good ambiance and decent price… it was good. Prices are extremely high here, even compared to California. Of course I had to take a picture of the giant Banyan tree, but I was more focused on the chickens. I don’t remember the chickens from past visits. They’re everywhere.

I keep getting distracted by what sounds like a woman standing inside my condo talking nonstop. There’s a woman sitting on her balcony in the adjacent building. She appears to be talking on her phone, so I’m guessing it’s an echo. Weird.

Last night we met Clay at Dina’s Sand Witch Deli here at Sugar Beach. This place is more of a bar. It’s small and covered in dollar bills. The staff and half the customers know Clay. He got plenty of birthday wishes and of course he handed out his Bringing Apollo Home business cards I’d had made for him. He’s my best salesman. For his birthday we’d picked up some steaks from Costco, so Joe went down to the barbeque area, along with four other husbands  and cooked them up while talking politics. Shocking, right?

Now we’re carless, but the girls come tonight and they’ll have a rental car. Did I mention that Clay’s two daughters are coming to join us for a week? I can’t wait. The reason they’re coming here is because the daughter from Washington had planned to come to Cali to see her dad for his birthday. He had to break it to her that he would be in Maui. His other daughter casually mentioned she’d been wanting to go to Hawaii again. Clay put two and two together (literally) and now they’re en route.

Aloha for now. We’re going to go hop in the ocean.

Quarteira to Lisbon to California

Yesterday we took the train from Quarteira (actually Loule) to Lisbon. It was supposed to be 3.5 hours, but for some reason the train just sat at a station for close to an hour, with no explanation. We came into the Oriente station in Lisbon and took the redline (vermelho) metro to our new place. This place is more like a boutique hotel. It has a communal kitchen and three shared bathrooms. It’s really pretty and the people working here are nice. The only complaint I have is, I chose this place for our last two days because they have a breakfast included. I asked what time breakfast would be served and they said, “Oh no, we can’t do that right now because of Covid-19.” What a crock of sh*t. We have shared bathrooms and a shared kitchen, but we can’t have a cold-cuts and fruit set out for us? No, it’s just an excuse to save money. Plus, we didn’t get the room shown on Airbnb… it was smaller with one window instead of two french doors, and it was on the ground floor (sidewalk level). That being said, it was clean and comfortable.

Our time here in Portugal is coming to a close. I have mixed emotions. Usually, by now, I am really looking forward to getting back to America. Often our trips are to places more dangerous than the US, albeit much cheaper. Portugal is much, much safer and it’s much cheaper. We’re trying to prepare ourselves for the sticker shock when we get home. A dinner costing $80-90 back in the States costs us about $25 here. But the safety is what I’ll miss the most. The people here are just so mellow and friendly.

I’ve been struggling with how to describe Portugal. The easiest part is the beauty of the landscape. Being a Californian, I define beauty by my standards—it varies from lush greenery to rocky mountains to arid inlands to majestic beaches. But really it’s the culture that won us over. Portuguese are very earthy and straight-forward. They believe in God, family, and fitness.

The government as a culture seems to look at every problem at its source. Here’s a few examples. Health care is important and expensive, so they have free fitness areas everywhere and wide-open, well lit walking areas. Crime is bad. Why do people commit crimes? Their approach was to look at the family unit and make sure that all children have a male and female role model (by indoctrinating the culture to take care of the children).

Drug addiction is bad. They legalized drugs, all drugs. And spent a ton of time and resources determining what is the cause of addiction. The answer? Loneliness. So, when a person is identified as being an addict, they have a system in place to alleviate the loneliness and disconnectedness. A few years ago wild fires swept through the mountain wine country and destroyed much of the crops. Typical Portuguese-style they asked what caused the fire to burn uncontrollably. The answer; eucalyptus trees. So, they made eucalyptus trees illegal to plant. 

I’ve never been anywhere that was so carefully designed to be enjoyed… trees, benches, walkways, grassy areas, cafes, and fountains make people want to be outside. Interesting, huh?

Today we took the metro to the airport to get our Covid tests. We had our results in twenty minutes—negative. Part of me was wishing it would be positive just so we could stay another couple of weeks, but of course that wouldn’t be very fun… they’d probably make us quarantine. We decided to head down to the river area from there and breathe in the fresh cold air. Up here in Saldanha it’s a bit muggy and overcast. We ate lunch down there and discussed the outcome of our trip. If we move to Portugal, which part would we move to? This isn’t the first time we’ve had this discussion, but we felt like we’ve rounded out our time here with some good info.

If we move here, I think we’ll start in Lisbon. We like the Alameda and the Avenida da Liberdade areas the most. Our first couple of days were spent in the Alameda area. It’s nice and open with a big beautiful park.

Liberdade is a tunnel of giant trees with little kiosk cafes everywhere. Even though it’s a main street, it feels peaceful and cool. 

It leads up to a park like what you’d expect to see in Washington DC or something. But then again, it is the capital of what was once a world power. A wonderful mall is right at the top of the avenue on the right. Inside are two levels of open restaurant seating (somewhat like a food court but different). It’s full of people working at their laptops and sipping coffee. A slice of heaven to me.

Speaking of writing, I have been doing some writing on this trip (besides this blog). I’m writing a very complex novel. It’s my first attempt at fantasy. Of course it’s still a crime story, but with a twist in time or place or something… kind of like a portal. I don’t want to give it away completely, but the main character, a detective, falls in love with the girl reading the book. :/ Weird, huh? I figured that readers always fall in love with the main character—what if it was the other way around?

Back to reality; One reason for wanting to move to Lisbon is its ease-of-access to the rest of the country. Another is the airport is here, so when you come visit we can come pick you up. The other reason is because of the services. We’ll probably join a gym with a lap pool. The smaller towns don’t have lap pools, and because of my spinal problems that’s my main workout.

I doubt we’ll permanently settle here in Lisbon though. We like Sesimbra a lot and Ferragudo (though I think we’d probably choose Alvor instead of Ferragudo itself). Quarteira was too mellow and Porto was too crazy. We need to travel around some more and decide.

So we fly home tomorrow—God willing and the creek don’t rise. I’m looking forward to seeing our cat, Loca. I had my friend’s son come over every day and pet her, but apparently he’d only pet her with one finger. She gets frustrated with us when we pet her with only one hand… I can imagine Loca was confused!

So, I’m sitting here in my kitchen in California. A delicious flower-laden breeze is flowing through the house. I’ve concluded that I must have a garden of some sort in Portugal. I love my yard. We came home to a little surprise—a giant branch broke off from our Chinese Pistache tree. My neighbor and cat-sitter cut up everything he could without a chainsaw, which was incredibly nice of him.

Our experience at the Lisbon airport left much to be desired. If you’re going to be flying out of that airport, you need to pay attention to this part because we came very close to missing our flight. Normally when you go to the airport you first check in. They have a set of kiosk computers, which were easy enough. Then instead of going to a ticket counter to drop off your bags, you’re pointed in a mysterious direction to drop the bags off. We searched around for a few minutes before an employee took pity on us and pointed to a bank of conveyor belts. So, we cautiously approach this new entity. First you have to scan your plane ticket, next you place your bag on the belt, only to be rejected, and to try again, and be rejected again. This goes on for several minutes until you accidently hit upon the perfect… something. I don’t know what it wanted, but it finally accepted it. Now repeat with your other bags. Then head upstairs for security check-point. This line was about 400-500 people long. Once through that, then you head off to your gate. If you’re flying locally within the EU, this is probably where your troubles stop. However, if you’re going to the international gates you’re far from done. This is why I’m warning you. We found the “N” gates and stopped to have breakfast and buy food and water for the flight (remember they only give you two very small meals in 11 hours on TAPair). It was getting close to time to board so we gathered up our stuff and headed off to our gate—News Flash!!! We still had to go through another passport check-point before we could get to the international gates. It was at least 1000 people long and was identical to the process of customs on arrival. It took us an hour to get through the line while listening to everyone else in the line panicking about missing their flights. We got through it with about two minutes to spare, and our gate was the furthest one. So, Joe and I jogged/walked to our gate with backpacks on. Not fun. Then when we got there an airplane employee told us we had to fill out a 6-page attestation of our shots, boosters, and negative test results for the USA. Unbelievable!

Anyway, the flower-laden breeze is gently telling me to calm down.

Quarteira; Unexpected Things.

We’ve truly visited a wide variety of places here in Portugal. Starting with Lisbon, which surprised us how much we liked the area we were staying in—Alameda. Next we went to Porto. That was non-stop action. Within a couple of days we discovered the relative peace and quiet of the Gaia side of the river. Then we moved down to Sesimbra, which was a pretty amazing place. With it soft sandy beaches and winding cobblestone streets. It was so much more low-key than Porto and Lisbon. Next we went further south to Ferragudo—an absolutely unique town and extremely quiet and elegant. We water-taxied over to Portimao, which was not quiet nor elegant. It’s the perfect place for a weekend of senseless drinking and flirting all with as little clothing as possible—not really our thing. Now we’re in Quarteira, and it is a big sprawling beach town with Sesimbra’s family vibe and Portimao’s beach chairs and umbrellas. Next week we head back to Lisbon for a couple of nights.

A lot of things have happened on this trip we didn’t anticipate, which is half the fun, right? For example, the day after our arrival was May first… Portugal’s Labor Day. It took a little skill to navigate what was open for business. In Porto was college graduation… the first in many years. What we didn’t know was that every class celebrates with the graduating class—a lot! I can’t tell you how thankful we were to not be trying to get around the city in a car. The traffic jam was so bad that people were sitting on the hoods of their cars chatting and smoking cigarettes while they waited for what seemed like hours. Then when all seemed back to normal, the Porto soccer team won the Portugal national title. The entire city went into convulsive fits of joy. Nothing unusual happened in Sesimbra, but on the day we left they had a rare train strike. That was chaos. Oh, and don't forget the motocross race in town.

The alternate route of going by taxi-metro-bus-taxi sucked. Ferragudo was calm except the rare weather condition of warm water being pushed up to the southern coast of Portugal and cool weather coming down from the north caused chilly foggy weather for a whole day. You’d have thought the locals were going to keel over and die. To me it felt like the northern California coast, but to them it was freezing. Via taxi-train-taxi, we’re now in Quarteira.

This may sound odd, but Quarteira is almost too perfect. It doesn’t seem possible that people actually live like this. I’ll take this moment to give kudos to the Portuguese government. It’s amazing how well maintained the public spaces are. They have these nice boardwalks everywhere (I mean everywhere we’ve been on this trip, not just here). The beaches are kept immaculate as a matter of national pride. 387 beaches in Portugal have been awarded the coveted blue-flag for cleanliness in 2020. The promenades are wide and well maintained with artistic designs on the tiled walkways. 

The most unusual feature we see in all public areas, is workout parks. They are clean, neat, and used. Honestly, I don’t think public gyms like these would last five minutes in the States before someone either vandalized them or sued the government because they hurt themselves. Some of these gyms (and playgrounds) are in the sand… not wheelchair accessible to say the least. 

So, in the US, nobody should get to use them. In reality, it’s not the government, but the citizens who make this lifestyle possible. Their patriotism and desire to have good quality things is universal. What they have, they take care of.

I’m sitting on my deck writing this. I keep stopping and leaning back in my plastic chair to stare out over the sea. I know Africa is just over that horizon and wish I could see it. Our condo is at the very end of the beach condo strip. We’re on the fifth floor that overlooks both the Atlantic and the parking lot. It’s a hub of activity here all day long with families eagerly scrambling out of their cars with all their gear, only to return hours later with sandy feet and wet towels—exhausted.

Yesterday there was an awning attached to a van (right in my line of sight) selling beachwear. A constant stream of women wandered through it. This morning I watched as the van pulled up. I sat drinking my coffee while marveling at their determination to get that awning back up again and to pull all the dresses and flowy things out of the back. It was like a magician’s hat they pull rabbits out of. I can’t understand how all that stuff came out of that van. But today the wind wasn’t cooperating and it kept snatching the dresses off the racks and flinging them on the ground as soon as the vendors turned their backs. This went on for a good twenty minutes. Finally the wind knocked over a huge rack with 30-40 dresses on it. The couple gave up and put everything back in the van and drove off.

I made a food ordering mistake today. We stop and check out the menus of all the restaurants along the promenade until something appeals to us. Today I saw a Chef Salad on the menu. We promptly sat down and I ordered the Chef Salad. Oh boy was I excited! I was bitterly disappointed when they brought me a gorgeous salad with no egg, no meat, no bacon. I asked the waitress where the meat was. She looked as baffled as I did. A chef salad simply means the chef makes it with whatever is available (it really was a great salad). The lady said she’d bring me some chicken. Ten minutes later she scooped a perfectly cooked and thinly sliced chicken breast onto my salad… and she didn’t charge me because she said she just wanted me to be happy.

The customer service here is a little awe-inspiring. The other day I went to the pharmacy to get cough medicine since Joe and I both caught a cold. I didn’t have enough money. I was short by 75 cents. A guy in line offered to pay the 75 cents. The pharmacist told me I could come back later when I had it and give it to her then. I told her how nice that was. She shrugged and answered with a smile, “I trust you, and it’s only 75 cents.” I paid for it with a card, but it was so nice of her.

Speaking of medical care, the guy across the street from us back in Ferragudo was saying he just had a knee replacement. He has private Portuguese healthcare insurance, which is one-thousand a year for him and his wife (they’re in their 80’s, from Sonoma). They kept him in the hospital for a week and did physical therapy… the bill came to 400 euros! His wife had cancer on one of her kidneys and had to have the kidney removed. A week in the hospital and 400 euros. “We couldn’t believe it, and they saved her life!” He and his wife decided to come to Europe and move from place to place. Portugal was their first stop (they’d visited before). That was 14 years ago and they never left Ferragudo. 

He lives on the third floor of a triplex on top of the hill (remember—148 steps) and he’s in his eighties. I commented on how youthful he looked and he just waved his hand to encompass the beauty around us. “It’s because I live here.” I wish we’d met him before the end of our time there.

I’m sipping the most expensive wine I’ve purchased since we arrived. I struggled with the purchase and left the store without it. That night I went back and bought it. It was the second most expensive bottle in the store. It’s a beast of a wine at 16% alcohol made by Convento da Tomina—it’s luxuriant and velvety… it was twelve euros. :) Most of the wine in the store was under five euros, but those wines tend to be dry. I don’t like dry wine.

Now it’s the next morning, Wednesday. Last night Joe was feeling crummy and exhausted, so I went to a restaurant on the promenade to get take-out. It was 9:30 at night, but remember the people don’t start eating dinner until 8:00 here. Anyway, I went by myself. As I walked along in the dark, I kept thinking, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m safe.” Everyone whom I passed either ignored me or politely said hello. When I got to The Shaker to order my beef burritos, the waitress brought me a blanket because I looked cold. I almost ended up with two mojitos, but thankfully I caught her words when she repeated my order. Everything went well until I got back to our high-rise. I got the key to work to let me into the interior, but I couldn’t get the stupid condo door to open. Finally, Joe hunted down his key to unlock it from the inside. That’s so unsafe! What if there was a fire? You’d have to keep a key in the door at all times. The beef burritos were great and we watched yet another episode of The Chosen.

One of my true disappointments on this trip is the pool here. For three weeks I’ve been unable to get in the ocean because it’s too cold for me. But I knew the last week in Quarteira would be the warmest weather, so I chose (and paid more for it) a place with a pool. The big bummer is they are renovating the façade of the building right in front of the pool! The pool is open, but there’s cement dust (my allergy) and little chunks of tile everywhere. Out of shear stubborn determination, I marched through the construction debris and got in the pool yesterday. It felt so good, but the curious stares from the construction workers six stories up and the ugliness of it sent me back inside. But, I did get in the pool.